Hello, Mr. Stranger-man

Hi neighbor! It's been about 20+ days since i've posted anything and the sad truth of that is because I kind of ran out of things to blog about. All the "deep" thoughts of my brain were about spent on what little topics I touched on and then finals took over all my brain space and then I went off to Africa. 

Good news, the trip was amazing and much needed. More good news, I had gained a lot of perspective on some things and now have new things to share with my friends (at least 3 blog post worth). 

I'll start with this one....

For some reason I had began meditating on 1 Corinthians chapter 3. In the first few verses Paul says that he has to break down the spiritual instruction for the Corinthians, because they couldn't get it straight Paul had to relate the word of God to them. "For while one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not carnal? Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man?" (verses 4+ 5) We as the body, fall into this pattern of behavior as well. We get so caught up with following trends and people that we get very sidetracked from the work God has set before us. No knock to guys like Piper or Platt or Giglio or any of the men and women of today who are strong public figures who strive for the mark and push other believers to do the same, but sometimes we deviate from searching out what God has to say to us from His own word, and we borrow and regurgitate someone else's theology. Again, I'm not saying anything against these people except what the Spirit of God moved Paul to write about them. Who are they, but ministers that received the same full measure as any other believer? There is no need for us to be carbon copies of others, and align ourselves with someone else's beliefs. We are to join hand in hand and learn from one another, but ultimately seeking the Lord to teach our hearts. 

But this verse has another twist. Just as there is nothing special about Paul, Apollos, Frances Chan or Driscoll there is also nothing special about us either. We the same are not to try and form our own brand of theology (and by that I mean heresy) just to have our own mind about the Scripture, or going out into the world trying to make carbon copies of ourselves. Instead we are to teach all people the HOW TO SEEK the Lord and hear from Him themselves. The call of every Follower of Christ is the command he gave to us before His ascension. "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen." (Matt. 28:19-20) 

Maybe we have miss understood what it means to make disciples. We think it means make disciples of ourselves because of the success we've had in our walk. If making disciples is about making someone else think like us, the fruit of that is one of prideful corruption, one that is all about making the tree (us) look good. We are to make disciples of Christ, teaching people to follow Christ. If Christ is the tree and we abide in Him as the vine (John 15:5), the fruit will be of the same. "Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit." (Matt. 12:33) 

I’ll leave you here because this all prefaces what the Lord began to show me on my Journey in Senegal, and transitions really well.

It’s good to be back! Grace and Peace.

Word to ya motha!

Mothers day is coming up, and I can't tell you how thankful I am for my Mama. There's some psychological theory that I can't remember the name of, and isn't really important enough to google, that says: Men look for qualities and character traits that their mothers have, in their ideal mate. It makes sense to me. My mom is the only woman that I know could stand me for 20+ years and not leave or kill me. Only one other woman in the world will be able to say that, in time. "Her children arise up, and call her blessed..." (Prov. 31:28) My mother is a VERY blessed woman, blessed with the Fear and Wisdom of the Lord, and I am so blessed to have her pass it on to me. Though, I'm sure she'll never read this because she doesn't have the best computer skills in the world, maybe she'll get to read this shout out to her.


One great thing about my mother is that I can come to her with absolutely anything. Our relationship over the years has turned into more of a friendship and we both challenge each other and discuss the scripture and seek our what God thinks to bring perspective to one another. And the Reason I am talking my mother up so much, is because of the most recent discussion we had, that has helped me view my place in the eyes of Christ has and given me so much peace.


Does the Lord want me to have victory in my life, to show His Power and Glory? OR Does the Lord want me to stand and endure, to put his Grace on Display? Now of course neither is better than the other, or is more important than the other which means the obvious answer is...both. BUT the problem is, putting so much emphasis on victory is far too easy to make an idol in our lives. I found myself in this place, frustrated because I somehow got to the point that it was all about getting the victory to show that Christ can do anything. And my beautiful, smart mother so loving told me, "Bubba, you're wrong! Thats not it at all!" I came back with other scripture to make my point and I really struggled to see it the other way. But after thinking and praying and reviewing scripture, I learned what she was talking about. I could stop putting so much pressure on myself, and stop taking on what Christ doesn't expect me to take responsibility for.  


1.) God does not need me to show his Victory. His power is on display, and we all have no excuse to dispute it (Romans 1). Also, the Victory is already won, there is nothing I can do that is going to keep Christ from being victorious. He died and was risen, conquering sin and the grave not only for Himself but for all who have received the Spirit.
2.) The only way for me to gain the Victory, is for me to die and finally reach perfection. Death is the only way to get there and In the mean time, I am to stand and endure until the victory is wrought out. "It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22) 


Because His mercies are new, that means DAILY what I deserve is held back from me, so really the only thing I can do is stand against the enemy and make it through the day. In this life, we are to watch and pray for the Lord's returning and so as long as I'm alive and standing I'm winning, because Jesus allows me to be! Its when I fail and don't stand back up that I'm loosing. "Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." (Eph. 6:13)


Grace and Peace be upon you...especially if you made it through my longest post yet...

"If grace is an ocean, then we're all sinking"

While the "discussion" that happened on my Facebook status about my view on the news of Osama Bin Laden's death, got turned into semantics battle and my whole point was lost in translation, it honestly revealed a lot of things about religious people that really make me want to punch them in the throat. It's moments like this that I really hate that people can't see that the "God" under which our one nation stands is a cheap, man-made, prosperity-gospel imitation of the true King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

I'll keep it short, get off my soapbox and then move on with this:

Think very hard before the next time you say ANYTHING about the grace of God, and how much he loves you. Christ did what he did to extend the same, full measure of grace to EVERYONE and Bin Laden, or Hitler, or Mother Teresa didn't deserve death or Hell any more or less than YOU or I do.

So anyway, I've obviously been thinking a lot about eternity and why God would want us to stay here after being redeemed. It's so very evident that our lives are a message to the world. A message of repentance, rebirth and redemption. Frankly, I feel we as a the body of Christ really suck at sending that message because we do not strive for consistency in our lives with God's word. We have many times in which we seek our own heart's fleshly desires in the name of Jesus so that we get what we want with His power instead of our own. A quote from John Piper that is so simple, yet describes our distorted view of grace is, "The New Birth is not enjoying the same meal with a different butler!" The new birth implies that a drastic change has been made at the deepest level of our motivations for anything. Once, where our heart sat on the throne, Christ takes reign and becomes the basis we form opinions on and make decisions from. (At least thats the way its SUPPOSED to work...)

YET there are so many practical Christians out there who only indulge in the word of God when it talks about how much He loves them, or what His power can do for them, all the while they have lost the fear of the Lord (if they ever had it) and tread on Holy ground with their shoes still on so that they don't have to feel their toes getting stepped on by the truth of God. (hopefully you were able to follow the mixed metaphor)

But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. - John 4:23

I say all of this not as a word of discouragement of "shape up, or ship out." I say this as an encouragement that God's people need to rise up and worship Him. If you have and are, remain steadfast! If you have but aren't anymore or never have, then rise up and stand because the more who do the less crazy we will all feel if we don't have to stand alone.

This message hits me so close to home, because I see in my own life areas that I fail often to give over to the Lord. What's crazy is that sometimes it not even intentional. Its so engrained in my nature to sin BUT that is not unconquerable! The perspective of God's grace and how he is so patient with us in allowing us to grow to know, love, and honor Him, is something I want to take to the people of Senegal, and everywhere I go so that the TRUE message of repentance, rebirth, and redemption will come out in my life in the purest form that my humaness will let me.

Grace and Peace

picking up where I left off...

So yesterday I told you, in my best attempt to describe, how I was feeling the other day and how the Lord brought me through that crazy struggle. He taught me many things through it, and someday I will share with you more about some of them.

But today, is going to be a short one just about a little warfare...

Since I'm hoping to go to Africa in about 2 weeks, I'm supposed to get Yellow Fever, Typphoid, some other shots and start Malaria medication. I had a whole plan worked out for wednesday that after all my classes, I was to go get all of my minor shots taken care of at the health clinic, leave for decatur to see my parents, get a consultation and the big shots from a doctor there and be done with it....And then the tornado came... I knew pretty early on wednesday that my plans for getting this junk taken care off wasn't going to happen and I got a little ticked because I thought, "why in the world, would after all the preparation and willingness to go to Africa, in a culture and language I know very very little of who has maybe 3 Followers of Christ, would this just suddenly all not work out!? If I can't get those shots, the won't let me into the country. BUT shortly after, amidst the storm (coincidence? i think not!) I saw first hand at how mighty God is in this physical universe and just how much His hand is over us all, but from my own lens, how much His hand is over me.

I was spared from any sort of damage, other than a mild affliction of no internet for a day, when the worst series of tornados since the Great depression was running rampant across 7 states. SURELY, God will make a way for me to get a few tiny shots, for diseases which we controls anyway, so that I may serve the people of Senegal. And honestly, if He doesn't want me there then He'll find a way to keep me from going too. There is absolutely NOTHING I can do to get there without his preparation.

Hallelujah Amen. Where's the chicken!?

Grace, Tornados, and Warfare

So I think most people in my are would agree that this week has been crazy. Other than just personal stuff I have been working through this week, and a freak tornado-fest wednesday that has done most damage in Alabama than any other storm since 1974. Everyone either has had at least a part of their hometown destroyed and a lot of people have lost loved ones.

Personally, I am doing fine. My last post was a pretty crazy one I know, but I'm not sure how those crazy feelings came up. But God is faithful and after much prayer (not just from me, btw thank you for all those who prayed for me) I am assured in my heart that I can love other's and that I can show it, I just have to find ways in which to show it in different ways so that more people know it. I'm not going to say that I have that par figured out, but it I know it is possible and I know that it will happen, I just have to learn how.

Its crazy though, how so out of alignment we can get. I have a theory thats what happens when we feel as if something in our relationship with God isn't right. Unless its just some unconfessed sin, we do have times where something seems to be blocking. I personally believe its that some part of us is out of sync with the Holy Spirit. The Holy spirit is a constant, its always true, honest and pure. He teaches us the Word (John 14:26) and so he gives us not just the faith in our heart, but the logic in our minds to perceive the word of God. Its why there are verses in the Bible like Proverbs 28:5 "Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the LORD understand it completely." and Romans 12:12 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." 


Because the Spirit is the only thing actually constant in a believer's being, the faulty parts like the heart and mind can get out wack. So you may have time were you know the Spirit is telling you the truth, and you believe it in your heart, but it just doesn't make sense in your mind to which proverbs tells us, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5). Other times you know in your mind and it makes sense to you what the Spirit tells you, but your heart just can't fully grasp it. Not that you don't believe it, somehow the flesh just steps in and gets scared in which many people fall and then fail out of unbelief. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)


And so its in these times that we are in the valley of the shadow of death, because somewhere, the flesh is causing some sort of disfunction. Its how we get into ruts of just reading our Bibles and going to church but not growing. Sin may not necessarily be the problem. Although the flesh only doubts God, we don't have to give in to it when it does because that is the sin.


So all of that to say this, thats where I was the other day. Out of sync, and even though those times really suck, it's good test to see if in the middle of being a...messy human?--thats a good way to put it-- if I can still stand.


I still have some other stuff to say but I may save it for tomorrow. Keep you interested...


And, thank you again for everyone who prayed for me,


Peace and Grace upon you all 

Is it well with my soul?

I know thats probably a really controversial title to this post, but I know for sure in my carnal, unrelenting heart that we all doubt God’s capabilities or at very least our ability to meet His standard (which really is again just doubt God’s father-like understanding, and endless compassion for us) BUT I can honestly say that today I have experienced some of Satan’s finest work in my life. He has brought his double-A game against me, and while I would tell someone else who would say they felt that kind of warfare, “well that should be encouraging that he feels the need to oppress you so much,” and whether its right to feel this way or not, if this is what it means to be encouraged then right now I really would like no part of it! 

Imagine the greatest victory you ever had in your life—the one that made you so sure of yourself and your ability to rise above anything, to be completely turned upside down almost as if your in some sort of Inception type of nightmare within a nightmare and now have to fight that whole battle over in reverse!!

For those of you who don’t know my personal testimony, I struggled very seriously with feeling unloved, unwanted, and un-needed as a senior in high school. At the pinnacle of adolescent stress of graduating and a bad dating relationship with its own problems, issues that I had with my family (which were internalized for years) were added on top of that and drove me to think of suicide as a rational idea….I apologize for hitting you in the face with that but this is going somewhere….

Now almost 4 years later, of feeling like nothing to could ever bring me down or rise up against me like that and steal my heart of joy, the enemy has called me out and really shown me how smart he is. Because now instead of feeling incapable of being loved, I feel incapable TO love others. I feel like I have no idea how to properly let people know that they can trust me, confide in me, or lean on me in time of trouble. Everything I have tried has not worked and I am a loss for how to do this.

The most frustrating part of all of this, is that with where I am right now, I can’t bring myself to say anything encouraging about the way that I feel other than that God is able, and will make a way. Somewhere in my being, the feelings of my heart that question “Can I love?” are out of line with my mind thats says, “I DO love,” and my Spirit that says, “This is the source of your love.” (Jesus, incase that wasn’t clear)

I ask from anyone who reads this, please continue to pray for me. I know that this is all warfare and the battle is raging on right now. If ever in my life, I need such a double portion of grace right now. Not just to combat this affliction, but to also Glory in it the way God has said to in His word.

“But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I didn't forget!

I'm off to a good start, I remembered to return to write about some more stuff. As for the quality of that stuff...well...we're work'n on it...

So I said in the last post that it was going to have to be later days on what I'm learning about people and so today is still not that day because I've still not come to anything solid enough to write about BUT I have more stuff I'm learning about me which I think is going to help with all of that.

If its one thing I do know about people, it;s that we're all different. I am one of them, and so are you, so lets just praise the Lord! Right arm, Lef....sorry. ANYWAY! People are different, and based off of what Carl Jung's 16 personality types test, my type (INTJ) is very uncommon (I'm only like 1-3% of the world!). One of the flaws of this personality type, is a difficulty in responding to things emotionally and as of late I have really noticed it. Descriptions of my personality type says that we often come off as aloof and after I looked up what that word meant, I didn't like it! I don't want to be unfriendly and distant. I had no idea I came off that way, and I really want to find a way to change that. but how do you change the way your brain is hard-wired?

Now, I'm not saying I want to cry more, or take up Interpretive Dancing or something but I want to be able to find a way to show my heart to people and to let them know that I care for their souls, because Christ cares for their souls. So as a start on this journey to "fix" my personality, I am praying for Grace. Grace in the eyes of God, to show me how I can change the way I come off to people, and favorable Grace in the eyes of others that people will at least see that I am trying. What my biggest problem is, is that I honestly don't know how to do this. I'm pretty sure I'm not scared or just don't want to, I just have no idea what I am doing wrong so ff anyone has suggestions on what I can do, I will gladly take them!

Above all else, I ask that you pray for me. Pray that God will break down in me what needs to be broken and build up what needs to be built without any resistance from me.

Peace and Grace!