So I think most people in my are would agree that this week has been crazy. Other than just personal stuff I have been working through this week, and a freak tornado-fest wednesday that has done most damage in Alabama than any other storm since 1974. Everyone either has had at least a part of their hometown destroyed and a lot of people have lost loved ones.
Personally, I am doing fine. My last post was a pretty crazy one I know, but I'm not sure how those crazy feelings came up. But God is faithful and after much prayer (not just from me, btw thank you for all those who prayed for me) I am assured in my heart that I can love other's and that I can show it, I just have to find ways in which to show it in different ways so that more people know it. I'm not going to say that I have that par figured out, but it I know it is possible and I know that it will happen, I just have to learn how.
Its crazy though, how so out of alignment we can get. I have a theory thats what happens when we feel as if something in our relationship with God isn't right. Unless its just some unconfessed sin, we do have times where something seems to be blocking. I personally believe its that some part of us is out of sync with the Holy Spirit. The Holy spirit is a constant, its always true, honest and pure. He teaches us the Word (John 14:26) and so he gives us not just the faith in our heart, but the logic in our minds to perceive the word of God. Its why there are verses in the Bible like Proverbs 28:5 "Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the LORD understand it completely." and Romans 12:12 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Because the Spirit is the only thing actually constant in a believer's being, the faulty parts like the heart and mind can get out wack. So you may have time were you know the Spirit is telling you the truth, and you believe it in your heart, but it just doesn't make sense in your mind to which proverbs tells us, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5). Other times you know in your mind and it makes sense to you what the Spirit tells you, but your heart just can't fully grasp it. Not that you don't believe it, somehow the flesh just steps in and gets scared in which many people fall and then fail out of unbelief. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9)
And so its in these times that we are in the valley of the shadow of death, because somewhere, the flesh is causing some sort of disfunction. Its how we get into ruts of just reading our Bibles and going to church but not growing. Sin may not necessarily be the problem. Although the flesh only doubts God, we don't have to give in to it when it does because that is the sin.
So all of that to say this, thats where I was the other day. Out of sync, and even though those times really suck, it's good test to see if in the middle of being a...messy human?--thats a good way to put it-- if I can still stand.
I still have some other stuff to say but I may save it for tomorrow. Keep you interested...
And, thank you again for everyone who prayed for me,
Peace and Grace upon you all
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